Be Your Own Coach – Join Our #MTtalk - pressures of leadership

Some while ago, I signed up to do a "Moonwalk Marathon" for charity. The aim of the event was to join thousands of others in central London – where, at midnight, on a cold but thankfully dry May night, the klaxon would sound and we would all set off for a 26.2-mile walk through the night.

It will be fun, they said. In the hours before midnight, uplifting music played and energetic warm-up routines with loud and enthusiastic organizers roused the crowds. Groups of friends met up, drank water, ate high-energy food, packed snacks, and prepared for seven-to-10-hour walks through the streets of London. Despite all this, I can assure you that, for me at least, this experience was not fun.

The good news was that I'd trained. In the months leading up to the event, I'd gradually increased the length of my walks to around 20 miles.

I had comfortable walking shoes that I'd "broken in" so they didn't rub. And I had special socks that hikers use, which are supposed to stop blisters. I was confident that I'd prepared well enough to cope with the physical demands ahead.

But I was to discover that it was the mental demands that were the most challenging of all.

Please Join Us!

What: #MTtalk

Where: Twitter

When: March 3 @ 1 p.m. ET (6 p.m. GMT / 11:30 p.m. IST)

Topic: Be Your Own Coach

Host: @Mind_Tools

My diet hadn't been great in the 24 hours before the walk, and I hadn't kept myself hydrated. I'd not rested properly. I'd stayed up late the previous evening, woken up early on the day, and followed a busy schedule before arriving for the walk.

I was also doing the walk alone. Yes, there were thousands of people around me, but I didn't have a walking companion – someone to talk to, to motivate me.

"A bird sitting in a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not in the branch but in her own wings."
― Author Unknown

I had no one to encourage me when I was tired or felt like giving up. No one to be my cheerleader, my coach, and keep me motivated. All of these factors set the tone for a very challenging and lonely nine-hour walk, with only my own thoughts to get me through.

By 5 a.m., in cold, deserted London, I was completely exhausted, and my heat blisters were developing blisters of their own! The only thing I had to keep me walking toward my goal, to keep me taking one step after another toward my destination, was being my own coach.

What Does It Mean to Be Your Own Coach?

My Moonwalk experience taught me that, while it can be helpful to have people around you to coach, challenge and cheer you on, the only person who is with you every minute of every day is you.

If you want to consistently be the best version of yourself, even in the face of adversity, and especially when you feel like giving up, be ready to coach yourself.

Good self-coaching leads to self-empowerment, and this can help you make more positive choices and take charge of your life. It can also build your self-confidence because, as you coach yourself, you develop your self-awareness.

You can coach yourself to think about the "big picture." Try asking yourself questions like:

What am I good at?
What knowledge, skills or behaviors do I want to improve?
What matters most to me in work and in life?
What are my personal and work goals?
What do I want to achieve personally and professionally?

And you can coach yourself through your day-to-day challenges, by reflecting on:

How can I best solve this problem?
What steps do I need to take to achieve this goal?
How can I use my strengths in this situation?
What do I need from myself today?
How can I change my thinking to see things more positively?
If I want new results, how should I think and behave?

Different Mindsets Create Different Results

Being your own coach means regularly reflecting on actions you take (or don’t take), acknowledging what went well, and thinking through what you need to do to be even better in the future.

This could apply to anything from reflecting on your role in the completion of a big project, to how you handled an important conversation with your boss.

I did complete the Moonwalk Marathon, by the way. When I picked up my medal at the finish line at around 9 a.m., it was with a huge sense of achievement, and with the knowledge that mindset is so often the difference between giving up and achieving your goals.

"Whether you think you can, or think you can't – you're right."
– Henry Ford

About This Week's "Be Your Own Coach" Chat

In our upcoming #MTtalk Twitter chat on Friday, we're going to talk about the benefits of being your own coach, and what you can do to coach yourself successfully. Come and join this safe discussion space to share your thoughts and experiences!

In our Twitter poll this week, we wanted to know when you think it’s most possible to be your own coach. The most-popular responses were when changing a habit or when chasing a goal. To see all the options and results, please click on our poll results.

We'd love you to participate in the chat, and the following questions may spark some thoughts in preparation for it:

What does "being your own coach" mean to you?
What's the difference between being your own coach, and using positive self-talk?
Why/when might you want to be your own coach?
What have you learned from other coaches and applied successfully?
What might be some challenges of being your own coach?
How can you measure if self-coaching is successful?

"Be Your Own Coach" Resources

To help you prepare for the chat, we've compiled a list of resources for you to browse. (Note that you'll need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)

We've also just released a whole batch of new coaching videos on Mind Tools. Our "Get Coaching – Introducing Brand-New Mind Tools Coaching Videos" blog reveals all!

How to Take Part in #MTtalk

Follow us on Twitter to make sure you don't miss out on any of the action this Friday! We'll be tweeting out 10 questions during our hour-long chat. To participate in the chat, type #MTtalk in the Twitter search function. Then, click on "Latest" and you'll be able to follow the live chat feed. You can join the chat by using the hashtag #MTtalk in your responses.

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