How often have you heard the phrase, "It's time for a fresh start?" Or, "Time to turn a new leaf?"
I remember when I first heard these two phrases. It was in elementary school when I suffered a series of unpleasant situations with classmates. Even though I was usually an outgoing and chatty child, these events affected me emotionally and I closed off entirely. I didn't want to go to school anymore. I fell sick a lot and I became extraordinarily quiet and introverted.
To solve the situation and motivate me about school again, the school counselor and my family decided it would be best for me to change classes. It meant that the following school year, I had to walk into a class of 30 new students and start afresh. Can you imagine how an 11-year-old girl feels just thinking about it? I felt both excited (or maybe relieved) and terrified.
But I will never forget the counselor's affirming words on my first school day: "It's your chance to have a fresh start. Go and grab the bull by its horns. Good luck!" (Truthfully, I only understood the part about the “bull” years later).
Starting a New Chapter
We go through many situations in life and experience a colorful palette of emotions. If our lives were books, we would start and finish many chapters. I believe that a “fresh start” involves the same process as actually reading a book: the excitement of starting to read something new often takes over, and we're eager to jump in as soon as possible. New stories, thrilling adventures, and new characters await!
When you think about it, this is also true when it comes to our lives and new experiences ahead. We are often ready and excited to jump into new situations, challenges, opportunities, and life changes. Though there are times when we feel uneasy, overwhelmed and reluctant to start. Perhaps there are even times when we feel what Germans call "Reisefieber" – excitement, agitation or anxiety before an upcoming trip – and we’re anxious to start a new chapter of our lives, work or project.
Well, an 11-year-old girl would tell you it might be more difficult to start than to finish a chapter. There are often negative emotions and experiences holding us back, the fear and beliefs that prevent us from opening to a new start. We're humans, not robots – we can't simply be de-coded and re-booted. We need to push ourselves and our brains to come to terms with the past and "program" ourselves for the fresh start we deserve. A fresh start doesn't simply mean closing a chapter or book we've finished but mentally and physically preparing ourselves for what is ahead. If we do not take time and space to process, evaluate and come to terms with the past experiences and emotions that might trigger us in the future, we'll be dragging extra baggage into what's supposed to be a fresh start.
Please Join Us!
What: #MTtalk
Where: Twitter
When: December 2 @ 1 p.m. ET (5 p.m. GMT / 10:30 p.m. IST)
Topic: A Fresh Start
Host: @Mind_Tools
Managing New Beginnings
"A “fresh start” isn’t a place, it’s a mindset."
Rachel Wolchin
Preparing ourselves for a fresh start (of any kind) is helping us close the chapter behind us and open our minds to new perspectives. It is difficult to open yourself up for new experiences if your thoughts are "stale" or if past emotions are still festering inside you. In the words of my grandmother, who was the most amazing cook and baker: "You can't prepare food to nurture you if the ingredients are stale, old or rotten. No amount of magic, spice and effort can change that." Fresh is the key ingredient to every start.
So what can we do to allow ourselves a fresh start?
For me, there’s a simple yet effective exercise that I’ve found useful with many students and clients I’ve worked with. I call it a trajectory (course/path) exercise that you can put into practice when you feel stuck, unsure of how to proceed or simply don’t have the courage to start.
Often, things that are real and right here and now might seem scary, so this exercise is a good way to:
- Detach ourselves from the situation and emotions.
- Gain a broader perspective and expand our thoughts.
- Look at a fresh start from different standpoints.
- Give ourselves the space to actively co-create what we wish to experience.
How to Prepare for a Fresh Start
Think of a trajectory or a roadmap – for example, take six months or a year, whatever time period you are comfortable with. Then imagine you’re sitting in a cinema in the director’s chair, and you’re viewing your trajectory on the big screen. You have the canvas and the means (your knowledge, experience, information, and your imagination) to create and envision what you’d like to see and/or experience. You can start putting together a “fresh start” for yourself, keeping in mind the factors and circumstances you can or can’t control.
When you have mapped it all out – with what is possible, viable and what can happen, ask yourself what are the first, most important steps that you need to take to make this vision a reality? Don’t think leaps or grand gestures, but baby steps – small changes or actions you can make today, to set your fresh start in motion.
After establishing this, think about the next two important phases – how will you monitor your progress, to know whether it’s working? What are possible ways to adapt and change the course of trajectory if needed?
You might experience difficulties in starting this exercise or get stuck doing it. It’s a normal process, because you are stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new – and not just the exercise. You’re looking inwards, trying to reframe your emotions, feelings and past experiences that could’ve held you back. It's hard work to overcome those challenges. Yet when you look at the rewards – a fresh start, a clean slate, a new leaf in your book – they outweigh all the negatives in the process.
In the end, few things on the outside might change, but the biggest change happens inside you – your mindset has changed, and you’ve opened up to new possibilities, new horizons ahead. Opening space for “new” in your life now holds infinite possibilities, and with “fresh eyes” and a new attitude, you’re the creator of what lies ahead!
About This Week's Chat
In our upcoming #MTtalk Twitter chat, we will be discussing fresh starts and managing new beginnings. In our Twitter poll this week, we asked what you feel when you think of change. Remarkably, no one said they feel overwhelmed, and the majority of you feel excited. But roughly 30 percent of people still feel anxious or on the fence about change.
However the thought of change makes you feel, we'd love for you to participate in the chat. The following questions may spark some thoughts in preparation for it:
- What excites you about starting something new?
- How do you overcome negative emotions when you have to start fresh?
- How does your team deal with change and new beginnings, and what can you do to support them?
Resources for a Fresh Start
To help you prepare for the chat, we've compiled a list of resources for you to browse. (Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)
Visualization
Overcoming Fear of Failure
Using Affirmations
Self-Sabotage
Cognitive Restructuring
Starting a New Job
Personal Mission Statements
Just Start
How to Join
Follow us on Twitter to make sure that you don’t miss out on any of the action this Friday! We’ll be tweeting out 10 questions during our hour-long chat. To participate in the chat, type #MTtalk in the Twitter search function. Then, click on “Latest” and you’ll be able to follow the live chat feed. You can join the chat by using the hashtag #MTtalk in your responses.
The post A Fresh Start – Join Our #MTTalk! appeared first on Mind Tools.
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