“Generosity is as much showing your vulnerability as it is your passion for something.”
— David Droga
Can you remember the first time you were on the receiving end of a generous act? I can’t, but I clearly remember the first time I understood how a small act of generosity could make a big difference.
Yolande Conradie
About This Week’s Chat
I was in fourth grade. Fred was a boy in my class who lived in difficult circumstances. His parents didn’t have the means to buy him all the stationery he needed in class and one of the basic items he lacked, was a set of colored pencils. Every time we needed to use colored pencils, Fred would get up, walk across the class to my desk and borrow some of mine.
One afternoon I told my mom that Fred didn’t have his own set of colored pencils. To her it was unacceptable that he didn’t have the basics, and she said that it must have been hard for him to always rely on others. Instead of driving home, she drove to the closest stationery shop and had me choose a set of pencils.
The next day I was sent to school with Fred’s pencils in my school case, and a set of “orders” too! My mom told me to give the pencils to him as unobtrusively as possible and not in front of the whole class. I shouldn’t make a big deal of it, but just give it to him and tell him it was his to keep.
As the first bell rang that prompted us to go to our classrooms, the moment presented itself and I gave Fred his pencils. At first, he looked uncertain, then happy, and then proud. At last, he had his own pencils!
To me, it wasn’t a big deal to let him use my pencils. However, my mom realized what a difference it would make for Fred to have his own. Generosity is… spotting an opportunity and doing something about it if it’s within your means or capability. Sometimes we don’t do anything, just because it’s “too much trouble” or we’re too busy. I like to think, “If I were in that person’s position, how would I feel if people simply didn’t care enough to do something?”
Please Join Us!
What: #MTtalk
Where: Twitter
When: August 12 @1 p.m. ET (5 p.m. GMT / 10:30 p.m. IST)
Topic: Generosity Is…
Host: @Mind_Tools
Ways to Show Generosity to Others
But is generosity always about giving money or material things? Not by a long shot.
There’s generosity in thinking creatively to help yourself and others find solutions. Sharing wisdom, and looking for opportunities to help and teach, are acts of generosity.
There’s a special kind of generosity in providing a safe space where people can simply be – a place where they don’t have to pretend, play a role or fit into a mold without the fear of being ridiculed, judged, or excluded.
Taking the time to support a friend or colleague who is going through a tough time or just having a bad day, is a type of generosity that builds trust. Giving someone your time and attention by listening mindfully might help them feel heard, understood, and less lonely.
It takes mental and emotional energy to admit privilege. Doing your best, and what is within your power to mend historical injustices, is generous. It’s much easier to shrug it off and say, “It’s not my fault, so why should I try to fix it?”
Accepting an apology when you’ve been hurt is an act of generosity and not an obligation. Forgiving is an act of generosity irrespective of your reason for doing it.
How Can You Show Generosity Toward Yourself?
Generosity also comes in the form of self-care.
One of my favorite sayings is that you can’t give what you don’t have. I believe that generosity, like respect and love, starts with how you treat yourself. If you don’t love yourself (not to be confused with arrogance) how can you love others? If you don’t respect yourself first, it’s difficult to consistently treat others respectfully.
Although it might not feel that way, self-honesty is a generous act. If you gift yourself with self-honesty, you get the opportunity to grow into and discover the best version of you. If you’re in denial, though, you won’t learn or change.
And, showing up in all your glorious authenticity and vulnerability and giving the world you is a special kind of generosity – because you are the only person who can do that.
What Generosity Isn’t
Generosity is an attitude – a way of thinking and being. It isn’t doing something to be seen, for social media creds or a cringeworthy post that starts with, “I’m so blessed to be able to give (this person) a (meal/voucher/Christmas gift).”
Being a voice for the voiceless is an act of generosity. Patronizing the voiceless isn’t. Calling out wrongs is an act of generosity, but not if you do it to score points. Holding space for others, and allowing them to feel what they feel is generous, but not if you’re going to use it against them in future.
If you’re thinking about what you’ll get in return, you’re not showing true generosity.
Generosity Is…
In our upcoming #MTtalk Twitter chat, we will be discussing what generosity is and what it isn’t. Come and join this safe discussion space to share your thoughts and experience!
In our Twitter poll this week, we wanted to know which act makes you feel like a generous person. Only 20 percent of participants said it’s when they give money, while more than 40 percent feel generous when they support a friend or colleague. You can see all the options and results here.
We’d love you to participate in the chat, and the following questions may spark some thoughts in preparation for it:
- How would you describe a generous mindset?
- What are the benefits of being generous?
- How can you be generous and maintain your boundaries?
- What are some examples of “bad” generosity?
- What might stop you from being generous toward your colleagues?
- How could a company show generosity to its employees or the community?
Generosity Resources
To help you prepare for the chat, we’ve compiled a list of resources for you to browse. (Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)
Why Being a Generous Leader Can Make You a Great Leader
How to Get the Best From an Extra Miler
What Is Corporate Social Responsibility?
Gable’s Four Responses to Good News
The post Generosity Is… – Join Our #MTtalk! appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.
0 Commentaires