About This Week’s Chat
“To know and not to do, is not to know.”
Laozi, Chinese philosopher
It was just a regular day when my phone blew up with messages from the neighborhood group chat. Supposedly the police were actively patrolling our town to prevent rioting and looting.
Certain that a fake news article had sent people into overdrive, I switched on my computer. But it was true. There were major riots breaking out across South Africa.
Immediately, my mind was spinning. Is my family OK? Do I have enough fuel in my car? Is the grocery cupboard stocked? Do I have enough broccoli (my food addiction) and milk (for my coffee addiction)? Most importantly: do I have enough dog food to keep a 45 kg Rottweiler going for a few weeks?
Driven to Distraction
So I sped over to the grocery store, followed by a frantic trip to the vet to get dog food, and piled back into my car. But then it all went south.
As I slowly backed out of the parking spot, and my car’s parking sensor beeped to a steady rhythm, my mind was racing. I checked items off the growing To-Do list in my head, remembered that I had to phone my aunt when I got home, and worried about being home alone since my husband was out of the country.
I looked at the image on the console from the reverse-view camera as I wondered if I should have picked up more bottled water at the grocery store, and how I’d work if the Wi-Fi went down.
But even as the sensor’s beeping became faster, and a large metal pole loomed into the camera’s view, my mind was on other things.
My car’s bumper met the pole. My stomach echoed the thud – and my heart, too.
Repeating the Cycle
This wasn’t the first time I’d had a small accident when feeling stressed. The car had already suffered a few bumps and scrapes, I’d dropped a weight on my foot, and I’d even been catapulted off a treadmill because I wasn’t concentrating. It’s funny now. It wasn’t funny then.
I was convinced I’d learned my lesson that I needed to be extra careful when I feel overwhelmed – but obviously I hadn’t. I’d heard the beeping of the parking sensor and I’d been watching the camera image. But I’d still dented the bumper.
Please Take Part!
What: #MTtalk
Where: Twitter
When: March 11 @ 1 p.m. ET (6 p.m. GMT / 11:30 p.m. IST)
Topic: Lessons Identified Vs. Lessons Learned
Host: @Mind_Tools
The lesson had been identified after previous incidents, but clearly I hadn’t learned it.
If it was truly a lesson learned, I would have applied the knowledge. I would have taken a few seconds to breathe, return to the present, and get my thoughts under control before I started the car.
More Lessons Identified
Burnout
Many people suffer from repeated burnout. They’ll tell you that their body often warns them to slow down – and they know that they should listen. Yet, they have to get to the brink of burnout (or worse) before they slow down.
Boundaries
Perhaps you’re a people pleaser. Despite learning the hard way that there are some people you can’t trust, you continue to compromise your own boundaries for the sake of “keeping the peace.” But you can only protect yourself from toxic people if you learn to keep your boundaries firmly in place.
Procrastination
Procrastination causes a specific type of stress: you feel anxious, restless, you can’t enjoy anything, and you feel terrible about yourself. After a particularly bad and stressful experience, you promise yourself that you’ve learned the lesson. You also know how much better you feel when you stay on top of your tasks instead of working through the night. But, slowly, you start procrastinating again until the next crisis hits. Does that sound familiar?
Lessons Identified Vs. Lessons Learned
In our #MTtalk Twitter chat this week we’re going to discuss the difference between lessons identified and lessons learned; why we struggle to follow through on these lessons; and how we can become better at doing so.
In our Twitter poll this week, we wanted to know in which area of life you’re likely to identify lessons, but not learn them. A third of respondents voted for emotional triggers, while less than 10 percent of participants voted for relationship red flags. To see all of the options and results, click here.
We’d love you to participate in the chat, and the following questions may spark some thoughts in preparation for it:
- How do we usually identify life lessons? What happens?
- What’s the difference between a lesson identified and a lesson learned?
- Why do we think we’ve learned the lesson when we’ve only identified it?
- How do we see leaders failing regarding lessons identified vs. learned?
- How and when do you know if you’ve learned the lesson?
- What lessons have you identified that you’re still struggling to learn?
- How do you begin to move from lesson learned to lesson applied?
Resources About Identifying and Learning Lessons
To help you prepare for the chat, we’ve compiled a list of resources for you to browse. (Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)
How to Learn From Your Mistakes
8 Ways to Improve Self-Regulation
How to Join
Follow us on Twitter to make sure that you don’t miss out on any of the action this Friday! We’ll be tweeting out 10 questions during our hour-long chat. To participate in the chat, type #MTtalk in the Twitter search function. Then, click on “Latest” and you’ll be able to follow the live chat feed. You can join the chat by using the hashtag #MTtalk in your responses.
The post Lessons Identified Vs. Lessons Learned – Join Our #MTtalk appeared first on Mind Tools Blog.
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